Here are ten tips to listen. Reverse them to not listen:
1) Face the speaker – this form of body language shows attentiveness and respect
2) Maintain eye contact to the degree where everyone remains comfortable – this shows interest and places value on speaker
3) Minimize external distractions – stop everything and focus on the speaker and what is being said
4) Minimize internal distractions – clear the mind and bring attention back to the present moment (for tips on how to do this, click here)
5) Respond appropriately – nodding and saying “mmm-hmm” shows alertness and understanding
6) Focus solely on what is being said – this goes back to point #4 – clear thoughts and try not to think about what to say next
7) Keep an open mind – avoid assumptions and zone in on what is actually being said
8) Refrain from interrupting – waiting until the speaker is completely finished allows them to fully express themselves
9) Focus on what matters most – letting the speaker talk it out while listening attentively shows interest and acknowledgement
10) Engage – ask questions to get clarification but again, wait for the speaker to finish before doing so
To NOT listen, reverse it:
1. Face away from the person you don't want to listen to
2. Look away from a sound
3. Distract yourself externally
4. Distract yourself internally
5. Don't respond or else respond inappropriately
6. Don't focus on what is being said, or focus on what is not being said
7. Keep a closed mind
8. Interrupt a lot
9. Don't focus on what matters about a person, or focus on what doesn't matter about them
10. Disengage.
