Thinking You're Christ while Manic

When one goes manic, there is a tendency to think in grandiose terms. I tend to think, “I am enlightened,” or “I am Buddha,” or “I am Christ,” or “I am the Ultimate Warrior.” Once the pattern is broken, it’s OK to feel empowered in appropriate ways. Even thinking, “I am Christ!” is OK, as long as you don’t go around acting on that idea. You think it, feel empowered, then let it go. It is not a sign of defeat. It may be a sign that you are not all the way there if you still have vaguely delusional thoughts. Still, you can be a very good person despite having a flaw like this. Again, having manic symptoms does not make you a failure nor does it make you a loser. It does not mean you’re selfish, and it does not mean you’re weak. It’s a disorder that you’re working very hard on.

Bipolar depression and shame, regret, obsession, agitation, and frustration

My bipolar depression includes shame, regret, obsession, agitation, and frustration. I don't feel depressed but I have all those symptoms, so hey, maybe I am depressed.

Coronavirus means we're all equal

The coronavirus has shown some people that we're all equal. We all have the capacity to get sick, and so we're all in it together. Now stay the hell away from me. That may be an extreme way to learn that lesson, but that's OK.

A line squared is a circle. A circle squared is a sphere.

A line squared is a circle. A circle squared is a sphere. There, I've done it.

Zen starts when you give up Zen

Zen starts when you give up Zen.

Overcome the Idea of Enlightenment

One thing all good Zen teachers and other mystics have in common is to overcome the idea of enlightenment. They all say drop the idea of attainment. I never believed this, until someone I believed to be enlightened said the same exact thing. Now I'm a believer in non-belief, if you will. The only thing I believe is to trust myself. There is no such thing as enlightenment.

Traversing the waves of insanity

It is possible to experience the waves of madness and sail through them rather than be drowned by them. I did it this time. Probably I'll have to deal with these waves again in the future, but this time was definitely a success.