Meanwhile Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock beyond the wilderness, he came to the mountain of Bob, Horeb.*2There the angel of the LORD BOB* appeared to him as fire flaming out of a bush.a When he looked, although the bush was on fire, it was not being consumed.3So Moses decided, “I must turn aside to look at this remarkable sight. Why does the bush not burn up?”4When the LORD BOB saw that he had turned aside to look, Bob called out to him from the bush: Moses! Moses! He answered, “Here I am.”5Bob said: Do not come near! Remove your sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.b6I am the Bob of your father,* he continued, the Bob of Abraham, the Bob of Isaac, and the Bob of Jacob.c Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at Bob.
Saturday, June 6, 2020
The Holy Bobble
I rewrote the Bible. Here's an excerpt from Exodus.
Meanwhile Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock beyond the wilderness, he came to the mountain of Bob, Horeb.*2There the angel of the LORD BOB* appeared to him as fire flaming out of a bush.a When he looked, although the bush was on fire, it was not being consumed.3So Moses decided, “I must turn aside to look at this remarkable sight. Why does the bush not burn up?”4When the LORD BOB saw that he had turned aside to look, Bob called out to him from the bush: Moses! Moses! He answered, “Here I am.”5Bob said: Do not come near! Remove your sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.b6I am the Bob of your father,* he continued, the Bob of Abraham, the Bob of Isaac, and the Bob of Jacob.c Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at Bob.
Meanwhile Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock beyond the wilderness, he came to the mountain of Bob, Horeb.*2There the angel of the LORD BOB* appeared to him as fire flaming out of a bush.a When he looked, although the bush was on fire, it was not being consumed.3So Moses decided, “I must turn aside to look at this remarkable sight. Why does the bush not burn up?”4When the LORD BOB saw that he had turned aside to look, Bob called out to him from the bush: Moses! Moses! He answered, “Here I am.”5Bob said: Do not come near! Remove your sandals from your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.b6I am the Bob of your father,* he continued, the Bob of Abraham, the Bob of Isaac, and the Bob of Jacob.c Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at Bob.
Weighing the Universe
I weighed the universe the other day. My scale only went up to 400 pounds so that was my first estimate. Then I realized my scale probably was not powerful enough.
The next step was to take the mass of the sun and multiply by the number of stars in the galaxy, so I got 2 sexdecillion. I was about 75 times lower than the currently estimated mass.
Finally, I decided to take the mass of the galaxy and multiply it by the number of galaxies. Then I was only 4 times greater than the current estimate, mine being 600 sexdecilion kilograms and the previous estimate being 150 sexdecillion kilograms. I can only assume I've falsified everyone else's theories and that I am definitely right.
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