Theories of Consciousness

One theory of consciousness is that it is similar to a theater, with director, spotlight, and all the other elements (Baars' Global Workspace theory).

My belief is that insight is a lived experience. Insight is a result of observation and logic, as well as personal ethical principles. There are other elements of experience as well. Even if you do not believe in science or logic, you simply follow the logical principles whenever formulating any kind of insight or observation. There is basic truth, and division between truth and lies. The awareness of this is a key component of consciousness in my view.

Thoughts are never lies, are they? Do we ever tell ourselves things with the intention to lie? Often people misunderstand us, because we tell them things other than what we tell ourselves. Even if some people say, "you're deceiving yourself," we never do that on purpose. Inner speech is a thought, which we assume to be true, that is conscious. I read that theory on "onphilosophy.wordpress.com" and I believe they went on to refute it, but I think it's quite accurate. They say inner dialog is conscious thought. We even sound more authentic when we are thinking than when we are speaking. It feels like the "true us." That is why we should speak the truth. It helps unite the inner with the outer.

Objectivity, truth, and scientific inquiry

There are two aspects of truth in psychological research. One is the objective measurement of data without obscuring it in any way. The other is an ethical principle of absence of deceit. This is important because it combines a philosophical bent towards truth with a scientific pursuit of knowledge. Both, in effect, are aspects of truth and complement one another. Without one, the other is a lot weaker.

Mental illness

Mental illness is an empty label. You cannot say someone is absolutely crazy. They are only relatively crazy. Though the label often fits very well, and describes someone quite accurately, it's still an empty label. What is the significance of this? It means that someone really can say, "I have bipolar" or "I have schizophrenia" without being in bad faith, while they can also feel beyond that label because the label is totally illusory.

Legend of John Ahn: Chapter 1

I am a shy person. It's OK, but sometimes we're inspired to be more than ourselves. This inspiration can happen through love at first sight, or by witnessing the cosmos, but for me, I was inspired simply by humor, and adventure. It was not a graceful woman or a big dream, but just a good friend who inspired me. John Ahn is a great inspiration. He's the type of person who when you meet him, he brings out your best. That can happen.

He said, "let me fireman's carry you." He fireman's carried Joe, the old old coyote, and spun him around 21 times. 

The old old coyote was observant. He would notice things that were real, yet he did so with great love for all people. He was wise. His loving and wise nature made it all the more comical when John Ahn fireman's carried him.

A rousing game of foursquare was underway. Dolk was picking up a pretty girl. John Ahn ran over and knocked Dolk down by humping him. It was a cock block.

Dolk was a slick-talking businessman, both intelligent and natural. Though he lied often, he did it with great humor, confidence, and great awareness. This made it all the more fitting that while he was flirting with someone John Ahn should run over and hump him.

John Ahn once sang, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" by Britney Spears.

It was a time of great confusion. People valued that which did not deserve value, while undervaluing true wisdom and strength. John Ahn cut through this with the "sword" of irony, when he sang, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" by Britney Spears.

As I began senior year of high school, I became John Ahn's friend. When I was hanging out with him, there was silliness abound. It even existed in echoes after he exited the group at times. It was a type of silliness that was mixed with profound wholesomeness.

When John Ahn's foursquare ball would get taken away, he'd say, "I'm just a victim of circumstance!"

He sent an open letter asking if anyone would go to prom with him. Someone filled out an application.

John Ahn and I watched someone while holding up newspapers. John Ahn poked eyeholes in his. When she confronted us I yelled, "Run!" and we ran away.

John Ahn would meet with people's lives and brighten and illuminate them. Only for a time would he be there, but always would he cheer people up.

Dolk was talking to the same girl later that day. John Ahn ran over and knocked Dolk over with humping again. The girl walked away again.

John Ahn wrote in marker on himself, "Milk, milk, lemonade, 'round the corner fudge is made."

My father met John Ahn after graduation. People were getting bludgeoned with big gladiator sticks and so forth.

There was a hypnotist and some people tried to get into a trance. They were falling over. John Ahn fell on one of them. It was Joe, the old old coyote.

colin tried to clean and press John Ahn and colin's knees buckled. It was one of the few times colin feared for his life.

I put a America henna tattoo on my arm, and John Ahn put one on his neck. We yelled at passersby, "Liberty!" "Freedom!" "America!"

We all played Red Rover in the hallway. We held hands and said, "red Rover Red Rover we call that guy over" and the guy would instantly run at us. We said, "Red Rover Red Rover we call everyone over!" and the whole hallway stormed us and knocked us over.

High School ended, and all of our friends went to different places. Later on, I struggled. I struggled enormously. That inspiration was lost. The basic inspiration that says, "Not only can you do whatever you want, but you can do it without getting into any trouble." Confucius said he achieved that at 70. Sometimes I think John Ahn achieved it at 20.

In the city there were 20 Santa Clauses. Joongbae pointed at them. The person in the car next to us turned. John Ahn said, "It's an army of Santa Clauses!"

John Ahn said to Choketsu, "I didn't know you were from China. WHOA!"

John Ahn, Quick Khash and I bought a life sized poster of Dolk, a painting of Dolk flexing, and the Vitruvian Dolk for Dolk's successive birthdays.

Still, every time he visited, fun would reappear. What is the lesson? How can I be a life of the party like the great John Ahn? How could it be done? Pablo asked the same questions. What was the essence of Joongbae that would make one so free, so loving, so happy?

At a wedding John Ahn and I sang Motown to an Asian table. At the end of the song, he bowed respectfully, admitting of the audience both a high degree of patience and the love of the moment that they shared. 

St. Ronald the Magnificent asked me if he should say, "Hey John how ya doin?" even though he never met John Ahn and John Ahn didn't know him. I said he should. St. Ronald the Magnificent said, to John Ahn, "Hey John how ya doin?" and John Ahn was totally natural. It was a meeting of great men, the passing of ships in the night, if you will. It was day though.

John Ahn and I walked through D.C. and would say, "Take a look at that body!" indiscriminately.

When we're with him, we're fun. When we're alone, we're ourselves. That's just part of the circle. For you see, We cannot be John Ahn. Only John Ahn can be John Ahn. He can inspire us to greatness, but it will be our greatness. Everyone has his own path in life to carve out. No matter how much we'd like to fireman's carry everyone, or point out the army of Santa Clauses, it wouldn't be the same without our friend there. Keep friends who are your equal. If no one is your equal, walk alone. John Ahn is my equal. He is a good friend. Still, it is time to be me. No one can do it better!

Magical thinking

What is the idea of magic? It seems to me that it's "whatever is impossible." If something is going downwards and upwards, it is magical. Any time someone finds himself believing in magical thinking, it is simply contradictory a priori. By definition, it contradicts. In saying "I can fly" you say "it's impossible to fly yet I do it." if you had an airplane, you would not call it magical. People fall into magical thinking in many ways, some subtle some overt. It's basically always, "I contradict what is." If you contradict what is, then you are not grounded in anything at all. There is nothing but misery. 

Dreaming is half a thought.

There was a book called the Dream Frontier that suggested dreams are just thoughts without subjects. That is, if the thought were, "he goes to the store," it would only have, "goes to the store." The person doing the thinking is implied, because you are in the dream world. The way the authors said it was that it's like Jeopardy: Answers without questions. You need to figure out the question.

Thinking can take the same form, with one exception. While there are often interjections and half-sentences in self-dialog, there is still a real physical world around you to ground you in reality. That could be why we don't become totally immersed in our thoughts. There are also half-realities where we start to think in confabulations, as discussed elsewhere (Sorry I lost the source on that one).

The mind can be a lot more creative when it is not fettered by the need to make a complete thought. What's produced may resonate more, while making a bit less sense.

The dream of dreams

My dream is to be a Zen master. I'm not yet, but it's my dream. Therefore, when I dream (as in, at night, in my bed) I attempt to teach Zen to the imaginary dream world. It's my dream. I like this idea. Take your dream. If you dream of flying, then fly in your dreams. If you want to travel the Earth in your dream, then when you're dreaming travel the Earth.

Why We Ought To Contribute

There are two possibilities. Either we will live forever, or we will die. Perhaps we'll go on eternally in some heaven, or perhaps everything goes away in the end. If we die, then we owe it to ourselves to live every moment to the fullest before the evanescent world screeches to a halt for us. However, if that becomes a depressing thought, because it is fatalistic, and why bother? Then, it is time to realize that maybe we will live forever. Maybe our actions do have consequences. Maybe we can make a lasting difference. There is no proof that we can make a dent on this world, nor is there proof that our lives are meaningless. That ambiguity is the very reason we must live life to the fullest, today. We must make lives better for everyone, savor life, and be good people. It is the imperative.

In fact, it is very important to strive. Why? No reason. Strive for no reason at all. Greatness is a fantasy, but pursue it. Just work hard. If you fall into relaxation and laziness, it won't even feel that great. It feels exactly the same as striving, actually. There's always very fine and subtle discontent. Just try. 

Do Not Love Comfort

Confucius said, "The scholar who loves comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar." It's not one of those made-up Confucius say sayings, this one he really said. It's true. To delight in the truth (also Confucius) is greater than loving or knowing the truth. However. If you delight in the truth you must allow a little bit of discomfort. That means sleeping less than 12 hours a night, not gorging yourself with food, and not relaxing on the sofa all the time.

This is not me saying these things, it's Confucius's quotes. He did not have sofas in his time though. Or did he? Either way, wisdom is not free. It takes hard work. It takes work to meditate when you're feeling lazy, and it takes work to ask real questions. It takes work to study a little bit extra, and to wake up early. It takes restraint to not eat that extra snack that would otherwise slow you down and waste time. We don't have a lot of time on this Earth. People may think that means you should party and live for now, and maybe, but it also means trying to know. Don't we all want to know?

You lack discipline

Keeping a routine shows that you have discipline. You should be able to have a simple, daily regimen of healthy things that really keep you sane and balanced. On the other hand, intensity and perseverance are something else entirely. That is not discipline. Getting that extra rep when you lift is not discipline. It is worthwhile, but it is something else. It is strength, and intensity. Discipline is waking up a the same time every day, eating the same amount most days, and doing good healthy things each day. Do you have discipline?

Trying Out Christ

My friend who is a minister-in-training told me if I wanted to root my faith, pray, then read the bible. I am a Zen Buddhist by training so I don't necessarily believe in God. I tried this little Christian experiment. My old personality came back, which was refreshing. Also, I stopped worrying if people talked about me. These were small "gifts," if you will. I'm still not completely converted as my scientific thought doesn't lead me down that road. Also, why surrender to a King? Even the King of Kings? It may be worth it, but I don't need to be a perfect sage who is totally humble before the higher power. I'm just a small, arrogant little grain of sand.

What is is. And what is ain't ain't. And something either is or it ain't.

This pyramid was actually a scheme in order to mummify pharaohs. It had a pharaoh burying schematic.

Sleeping on the floor day two, and what I will do differently

I attempted sleeping on the floor, and lie awake for 4 hours. I fell asleep after getting into bed, and slept 7 or so hours comfortably. However, now that I have worked all day, will lift weights and do yoga and tai chi likely, and will study and meditate, I may be tired enough to fall asleep on the floor. It is supposed to be very humbling, so I will persist because I am overwhelmingly conceited.

Sleeping on the Floor

Hello,

I will sleep on the floor tonight. My lifestyle is somewhat monkish already, and I am sleeping on the floor tonight because I am trying to curb my libido. Also, I have heard it is humbling to sleep on the floor, which is probably true because you're grounding yourself and physically being in a low spot. I have slept on the floor before, and always felt it enjoyable, even if I ended up with a slight cold afterward. I picked a spot tonight in my room that's not full of cathair as I am allergic, and my floor is wooden. I'm using a yoga mat and a sleeping bag, and sleeping on my back.

So far I fell asleep for five minutes, of stage 1 sleep. The back of my head was hurting a little as I tried to fall asleep, which took an hour, but I am told not to use a pillow if I want to get the optimal health benefits of improved posture. I will try to repost about how this sleeping on the floor experiment goes.

You Can Disagree With Non-Contradiction, But That Won't Be a Contradiction

The Law of Noncontradiction is a law which can be not believed by a person, but never contradicted. It is probably impossible to actually prove the law, but I think the world is much more fun if you believe the law. It means that humor comes not in coming up with nonsensical contradictions which have no grounding in understanding, but rather in refuting these contradictions. For example, to say, "People who say less is more should not become mathematicians. People who say you get what you give should no be accountants." Less is not more. More is more. Having confidence in this view is very playful.

All the same, it is not necessary to hate anyone for holding illogical views. There is no need to try to convert them. If they are nice, good people, it is really OK for them to hold views you don't believe in. I believe they are imperfect views. They believe they are "perfect imperfections," in the words of John Legend. Actually, I think all imperfections are imperfect, because of noncontradiction.

All nonsense is the same. However, it can be interpreted as sense by a conscious person. Interestingly enough, there is only ever one consciousness at a time by an individual. I first encountered this idea in Bernard Baars' writing. There are many paradoxical ideas in the subconscious, but the conscious mind presents a uniform whole. The nonsense may have functions to be put together by the higher conscious process (which is my idea) but it is still arbitrary. That is the only view I can obtain which rectifies the noncontradictory nature of the finished product of consciousness with the chaos of the unconscious.

This leads to another idea, which is that contradictions are simply  metaphors which do not have to be taken absolutely seriously. They can be used as poetry, or play, but they do not have to be considered actual truth. This is quite possible, and it also allows the person to be less rigid in views about concreteness. Things are not so solid then. Maybe, though I think a typically logical view of contradiction is more realistic.

Still, the first few principles do not have to be a truth claims. They can be sincerity and kindness themselves.

A Post About Changes of Heart

I used to have a bad heart, if heart is to mean one's will and disposition. It was a bad will. Now, I have a good will. If this is understood properly, most people immediately expect some type of religious explanation. This post is not religious. While usually the idea of a change of heart or redemption has to do with salvation under Christ, it does not necessarily have to. It has to do most with understanding that after you are wicked, and do wicked things, do not do them again. There may be some residual remorse, and some residual bad actions, simply because I am not a fully realized person. However, there is a difference between a good and bad person.

I'm reluctant to get into the details of what constituted my badness, but it may suffice to say that I was intent on being vicious. My desire was literally to be as evil as possible. I was not even successful at that, but I came pretty close sometimes. This could be chalked up to being a teenager at the time, and that's true enough. Still, most people don't change heart. They just realize how good they've been all along if anything.

What is the impetus to change heart? It's simply situational. If you realize fully the nature of cause and effect, that basically bad actions do not pay in the long run, the problem will solve itself. Every action is seen. Nothing is hidden. It may not be some god who sees it, but somewhere or somehow it will be known. Knowing this is the solution.

Then there are other things that help to turn a bad man into a good man. There's associating with the right people. There's making conscious moral guidelines for yourself. There's simply trying to be a good person. I'm still quite selfish at times. Even now I talk about myself throughout this post, with the assumption that it may have some residual help for people. Still, the self is there. There is "good enough." Being a pretty good person is all that matters. My friend put it well. "Just don't make a negative contribution to the world." I don't even know if I'm there yet, but I'm on the path. How? Fear of wrongdoing, remorse over wrongdoing, and earnestness in trying to improve.

You Do Not Have Sunshine On a Cloudy Day, Because Of The Clouds.

When it's cold outside, you only have the month of May if it happens to be a cold day in May. Besides, even that is semantically inaccurate because May is not in your possession. It is equally May for everyone, unless you are in different timezones and it is still April in one region or has already become June in another region.



To change topics a little, the Steve Miller Band was quoted as saying, "Abra-abra-cadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya." Are they talking about me? Why do they want to grab me? I don't know what they're talking about. It doesn't make sense.

Ivan the Terrible, But At What?

If Ivan the Terrible were named that because he was terrible at checkers, it would be better if he were named Ivan the Terrible Checkers Player.



Of course, that would take away from his atrocities. He couldn’t have been terrible with everything. There might have been something he was very good at. For example, he was probably very good at being fearsome. That’s why historically he was also known as Ivan the Fearsome. Realistically, we could call him, “Ivan the Terrific,” if the thing he is terrific at is understood to be his fearsomeness.

I personally approve of such titles. They should be utilized more often, as in the case of Ronald the Magnificent in reference to Ronald Reagan. There could be other names, like Clinton the Hun, or Bush the Mediocre. Why not add some regality to our system which has become far too casual?

Today the word for such things is, “epic.” The word “epic” itself is not very epic, and connotes a sort of casualness which belies its very meaning, like an oxymoron.

Chess Wit

Chess is a battle of wits. For example,  I was in Washington Square Park and I challenged a chess shark to a game of chess, and I said, “what’s the wager?” and he said, “it’s not a gamble, it’s a fee.” He was likely trying to outwit me psychologically so that I would be a weaker chess opponent. My friend said, “you mean like you give chess lessons? How much is it?” he put away his chessboard and called my friends and I, “a bunch of fucking nerds.” He clearly outwitted us again, while not even using his chess pieces.

Then there was the instance when I found out a girl I liked was in admiration of chess players, and went out with a well-known one. Being a chess player myself, I invited her to a chess club where we might play a game and enjoy a conversation. She said, “I don’t like to play chess.” Checkmate.

Then finally there was the brashest instance of chess wit, when I was playing a game of chess and my opponent began breastfeeding. On the topic of breastfeeding in public I have to say that I don’t care very much, but when it comes to games of chess, I believe breastfeeding should be banned. My opponent's husband was kibitzing the game, and said, "are you looking at my wife's chest?" It was right near the pieces, so I could neither look at the pieces, nor look away (as that would mean I might lose the game). I won the game, with much concentration, but I still oppose this form of psychological gambit.

Are Squirrels Communists?

Squirrels may be socialists, or even to the extreme you could call them communists. They bury their acorns in the commons of our backyard, only to reap what little they can randomly, forgetting who they planted the acorns for. It is a pathetically inefficient system, what I am calling the squirrel socialist regime.

Do not vote for any squirrel who is running for office. Actually, squirrels generally do not run for office. You probably already knew that. In fact, I would say there is over a 99% chance that you believed with over 99% certainty that squirrels have never run for a major office in any country in the history of the world. However, in case you didn’t, or in case they ever decide to, by some freak of nature, do not vote for a squirrel, unless you are a communist. If you do not believe my argument that squirrels are communists, take a look at the furs they walk around in, like those people in the cold communist tundras. There is a distinct chance, though at a very low likelihood of probability, that this will convince you.

It is also possible that they emulate the behavior of communists without actually being communists. In fact, this argument is tenable. I think there is also the possibility that you are also a communist, so that you may sympathize with these red squirrels.

It is also possible that this argument is wrong, and that they are not communists. There are actually two distinct possibilities. 1. Squirrels are communists. 2. Squirrels are not communists.

He Wouldn't Be The Pope If He Used Dope

He wouldn’t be the Pope if he used dope. That’s why popes never dope. One is not tested for performance enhancing mystical drugs like LSD when becoming pope, but the pope happens to be pure.

That does not mean he is the real pope. For example, I know four people who have claims to the papacy. One is colin. He is Pope Hogan, ordained by Donny. It was not necessarily an authentic ordination, but he retains the papacy for himself nonetheless.

I too am a Pope ordained by Donny. I sometimes call myself the Ultimate Pope. I have wrestled Pope Hogan. We began with feats of strength, whereby we drank jabanero pepper sauce, spoonful after spoonful to see who was more tolerant. It was not I. Then the next feat of strength was the wrestling match, whereby Pope Hogan was offered a draw. He declined, and there was a near war of attrition as I, the Ultimate Pope, tried to lift up Pope Hogan for a piledriver. As I lost my steam, after a 30 minute wrestling battle, he pinned me and Pope Hogan came out victorious. We had an eating contest, where the food of choice was carrots, where I came out with a sensational victory as my Pope-like asceticism won out over colin’s Antipope-like licentiousness. I defeated him in several other challenges, and also he defeated me in several other challenges. It is a tossup as to who is the real pope between us, but I feel that I have a stronger claim to the papacy than him due to my ethical aspirations.

I ordained two Bobs as bishops, because in my somewhat fragile papacy only Bobs can be bishops. One of these Bobs said, “But the pope is infallible, so I’m going to be the Pope too.”

Also, a lady named Alice ordained herself as the Pope. That makes a total of five popes, four of which are Antipopes. The four popes other than me should be rightly called Antipopes and me the real Pope if you consider that I alone am the center of my own existence. No one else in the universe can claim to be the center of my existence. Indeed, my existence is rightly Jeff-o-centric.

Evidently, colin’s existence is colin-o-centric, but since I am Jeff, it makes more sense for a Jeff-o-centric universe to be correct. Only I can make this argument using my particular variable, while the four other popes could conceivably make it with their own variables in their places.

Pope Francis has the most recognized claim to the papacy, though I don’t necessarily believe that makes him a better Pope than me. In fact, I call him AntiPope Francis.

The End.

Unindicted Coconspirator

I know, I know, Simpsons did it.

The Man With 21 Names

There is a man who's name will not be mentioned. This man had twenty one identities. Someone stole his identity so he had only 20 left. He tried to find himself after this incident. There was another person who was also him. So now he had 20 identities, and a duality. He was two places at once, and he was twenty things at the same time. So the other person was also 20 things at the same time, and two places at the same time. And that other person was also himself, so he was twenty two things.

The man who lost himself went to the police and filed a report. He also lost 220 dollars. The officers filed the report for him, and the 220 dollars he lost was returned to him. However, he never received his identity back.

He came to ask himself, what was that identity am I? Who was I? Who am I now? I suppose I am nothing. But "I" asked the question. Nobody asked the question. The question was unasked. There are no thoughts and no feelings.

He tried far-reaching attempts to build himself up, like playing music and getting the best job he could get. He worked hard, but he was left entirely without any satisfaction.

Two views on conserving the Seminal Energy

Greetings.

There are two popular online communities involving the Seminal Energy. I am not sure the current favorability of the PUA (pickup) community, but that one involves dispersing the energy into extensive efforts to find random women to bang. The other community is the nofap community which involves Purity of Essence (Dr. Strangelove's POE). The real question is guilt/shame. If there is no shame about lack of partner, then PUA is not a big deal. If there is no shame about lack of pure essence, then nofap is not a big deal. I think this comes with age. At a certain point shame becomes tiresome. Without shame the world is friendly, albeit annoying.

Nofap Seminal Energy conservers, or Fapstronauts as they call themselves, speak of superpowers that are associated with nofap. I say association because it is clear to me that there is a third, confounding variable that causes things like lower voice and more women to look at you. When you don't lose the Seminal Energy you are likely drinking more water and not drinking as much caffeine during that time. Since your diet's better because you already feel a boost in self esteem from accomplishing your goal, you feel the benefits of the improved diet.

Edit: Upon revisiting this topic again and again, there are a few other notes to make. First, it seems that there is a nocebo effect. Every time the placebo of the fap is eliminated, its waning produces a noticeable effect. It is deeply psychological and in effect very real. Also, people do actually respect nofappers. One issue is that if their philosophy, which is not metaphysically certain to them, is questioned, they often falter. There needs to be metaphysical certitude and also balance to achieve this quite difficult aim.

Here's another point: losing Seminal Energy, by itself, is meaningless. Still, there's something wrong with pornography use. Healthy sexuality is important, but repression still never leads to anything good. The adage is true.